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English Majors GK:……after this message. SS: What you staring at me for? ---- Do I know you? GK: I'm gazing at you in rapt wonder because I'm writing a sonnet
about you. SS: You are? GK: Sure. SS: A sonnet? GK: Got the first four lines already. So unexpected, her, shining on a dusty Minnesota street, SS: You wrote that about me? Who are you? GK: I'm an English major, so if anything needs expressing, I'm
your man. SS: I never met anybody like you before----- TR (RICO): Hey! Babes! Whatcha doin? I been waitin for you inside
the store! Who's this gink? SS: He's an English major. TR: Oh? Where's his uniform and his sword? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
SS: He's writing me a sonnet, Rico. TR (RICO): A sonnet, huh? Well, here's what I think about sonnets
----- (SIX QUICK SHOTS, TR BLOWS SMOKE FROM BARREL) There. Looks like
your sonnet's got some holes in it. SS: I'm tired of you and your violence, Rico. You can't put violence
in a scrapbook and take it out twenty years from now and look at it, can
you----- TR (RICO): Come on, baby. Don't go off with an English major! GK: Don't feel bad. It happens all the time. That's because women
respond to the power of the English language when it's used by a trained
professional---- "Had I the embroidered cloths of heaven, I would
lay the cloths under your feet. But I, being poor, have only my dreams.
I have laid my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread
on my dreams." SS: Ohhhhhh-------- my English major----- GK: A message from the Professional Organization of English Majors. © Garrison Keillor 2002 |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»