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The Press GK: Let's talk about garbage for a moment, folks. I know you folks
recycle, but what about all of those coffee grounds you throw away every
day (SCHWOPP) and the uneaten yoghurt (PLOPPPPP) and the three inedible
fruitcakes you'll get for Christmas (THREE SPLATS) not to mention the
buckets of cold mashed potatoes (SCHLOP) and the yams (SCHLAP) and the
turkey carcass (CRUNCHING) and cranberry sauce---- why do you make so
much? Nobody eats this stuff ---- (BIG TORRENT OF GLOP) ----- so you're
going to throw it into a non TR: THE PRESS. GK: The Press is a stainless steel garbage processor the size
of your stove. You dump all your garbage in there, everything (GLOPS AND
CRUNCHES AND GLASS AND JUNK), degradable and non-degradable, paper and
plastic, glass, cranberries, fruitcakes, and there it's decomposed quickly
by an industrial-strength bacteria and it's compacted and baked to make----
(CHORD) SS: A brick. An adobe brick. GK: No more sorting things into nine different shopping bags in
your back porch. All of your garbage, your flotsam and jetsam, old books,
old car batteries, fruitcakes, wrappers, empty bottles, cranberry sauce,
all reduced to make a useful object: a brick. SS: Now we can build that patio that we always dreamed of. GK: Ask for it by name: TR: THE PRESS. SS: Are these adobe bricks durable? Will they last for years and
years? GK: Highly educated people with wire-rim glasses and wearing crisp
white lab coats say: So far, so good. SS: And is The Press perfectly harmless? GK: No, the industrial-strength bacteria that decomposes garbage
can also make you smaller as well. TR (TIGHT SMALL VOICE): You should never never never try to clean
The Press yourself. GK: There's no better way to deal with garbage. In goes trash
(FLOW OF TRASH) and in just a day, out comes….. SS: A brick. An adobe brick. TR: THE PRESS. GK: Solid. ( BUTTON) © Garrison Keillor 2002 |
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Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).
