Dance of the Sugar Plums
Saturday, December 21, 2002

O, I hate Tchaichovsky's Nutcracker, Nutcracker, Yes I do, It's a piece I hate

I have been to see it every year, 'cause I have nieces who are in the ballet

Ev'ry year I sit and suffer through dancing mice, soldiers and Clara and the tree

At the end I need a drink, but all they have is tea

Here in my seat I the first row I sit and I try to look very deeply amused

Here in my seat in the first row I sit and I suffer through dancing Nutcracker abuse

They dance, they dance, now on and on, act after act
until Tchaichovsky's nuts are cracked

O, I hate Tchaichovsky's Nutcracker, Nutcracker, It's so sweet that it makes me sick

Hate the little dancers and their moms, the orchestra
especially the guy who waves the stick

Every year I sit and I surfer through dancing mice, soldiers who march around

It's the end lets stand up and clap and lets go home and lie down

© Garrison Keillor 2002

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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