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Swanson's Self Storage (GRACEFUL PIANO) The holidays were lovely (PLEASANT GRACIOUS VOICES) and everyone you
love was there (A LIGHT CLINK OF GLASSES, LIGHT LAUGHTER) and the house
was beautifully decorated (TINKLE OF GLASS DECORATIONS) and the food was
delicious (SS: Dig in, everyone! LIGHT LAUGHTER. MURMUR OF COMPLIMENTS)
and that was the problem ---- (PIGGY SOUNDS) you started eating and you
couldn't stop (HOWL)--- it was embarrassing (GRUNTING AND SLOPPING) you
got your head down in the trough and (ANIMAL GRUNTS) you were like a beast
in the jungle (ELEPHANT TRUMPET), suddenly you were hyenas feeding on
the carcass of a wildebeest (GRUNTING AND GROWLING, TEARING OF FLESH)
and you couldn't stop, you ran around on all fours and got into garbage
cans (GRUNTING, RIPPING OF PAPER, JUNK RUMMAGING), you terrorized the
neighborhood, and your children were ashamed (TR BOY: Oh Dad) ---- your
pastor had to be called (TR PASTOR: Let us pray) ----- Julia Child was
upset (TR JULIA: I'm all for the joy of eating, but this is too much.)
---- Mr. Rogers was upset ---- (TR ROGERS: I'm glad you're not my neighbor.)
----- Dr. Phil wasn't happy. (LINE HERE), and the next day you awoke with
horrible breath and climbed onto the scale (RATCHETING SLOWLY TO UTMOST)
and looked down and--- TK: Oh my gosh. GK: What are you going to do? TK: What CAN I do? TR (QUIETLY): Maybe you need to go into self-storage for a little
while. GK: Swanson's Self Storage. It's a way to be alone and be able
to think clearly (DOOR CREAK OPEN) TR: Right in there, Mr. Stickney. TK: Okay. (FOOTSTEPS DOWN STAIRS, INTO REVERB) TR: Lie on the floor, Mr. Stickney. TK (REVERB): Okay. Is there anything to eat in here? TR: There's Rye-Krisp. TK (REVERB): Okay. TR: Get comfortable. Just relax. TK: (REVERB) Okay. TR: I'll be back to get you in two weeks, okay? TK: (REVERB) Okay. See you then. TR: Bye. (CLOSE DOOR) GK: Swanson's Self Storage.....when you need a time out. (MUSIC
OUT) © Garrison Keillor 2003 |
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Singer and songwriter Andra Suchy talks about singing duets with Garrison, and her latest album, Little Heart.
Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).
