|
Ketchup GK: ..after this word from the Ketchup Advisory Board. SS: These are the good years for me and Jim. My boss retired last
week and suddenly life was good again. It was regime change at Hooper
Whipple. People were singing in the copy room. The reign of terror was
over. Jim's mom is doing fine at the Home. She seems to enjoy dementia
more than she enjoyed her previous life. She's always chuckling and waving
to people. Our kids are off doing things and not telling us about them,
and that's good. But the other morning, at breakfast, Jim was so gloomy----
What's wrong, Jim? It's Easter. You're supposed to be sunshiny. Christ
is risen. TR: I came across some old letters of my mother's. SS: What? TR: I never knew I was rejected by St. Philip's Kindergarten.
SS: Whatever makes you worry about that now? You're 48 years old.
TR: I know, but---- SS: We're happy. We have our own house, we have a nice living
room suite, you're finally off Zoloft. TR: I just can't get over it. SS: It was forty-four years ago, Jim. TR: But the things that my pre-school teacher said about me¼¼.that
I was uncooperative. SS: Honey, you have to let go of it. TR: That I didn't help pick up the playthings. That I didn't want
to hold hands during the sing-along. Those words burn, they're a stone
in my shoe, Barb. Am I still that way? SS: You're just fine. TR: And my refusal to hold hands was one thing that kept me out
of St. Philip's. The top kindergarten in town. And that kept me out of
St. Paul Academy. And so instead of going to Princeton, I went to the
Acme Business College at 44 and a half Hennepin Avenue. SS: And instead of marrying Julia Roberts, you married me. What's
wrong with that? She's never home. I am. And she wouldn't like you as
much as I do. TR: You do? SS: Sure. Especially when we have catchup. Catchup has natural
mellowing agents that help a person accept life's little injustices and
appreciate what you have. Such as catchup. RD (SINGS): Spring is a time of hopes and dreams and wishes, GK: Ketchup....for the good times. RD (SINGS): Ketchup.........ketchup....ketchup. © Garrison Keillor 2003 |
|
|
|
|
Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»