A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Georgia on My Mind
Saturday, May 24, 2003
Listen

(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman)

(BEEPS OF SCANNER, LIKE SONAR)

TR: A little higher.

(BEEPS)

SS: What do you see, Doctor?

TR: Zoom in on the upper right hemisphere.

SS: Is that a tumor?

TR: Not exactly.

SS: What is it? A hematoma? A swelling of the brain?

TR: No, it's Georgia.

SS: By gosh, it is. You going to try to remove it?

TR: I don't think so.

SS: It's a growth of some kind.

TR: It's Georgia.

SS: It's on his mind.

TR: We need to reduce the swelling. This artery is blocked.

SS: I-75.

TR: We'll have to apply ice.

SS: If you apply ice, it won't be Georgia anymore. It'll be Minnesota.

TR: Maybe that's the answer.

SS: But if he has Minnesota on his mind, he won't be able to process new information.

TR: So?

SS: And he'll be missing Fort Benning. The fight or flight response. Plus the Center for Disease Control.

TR: But he'll also be missing the pain of the Braves folding.

SS: Good point.

TR: And without the Central News Nerve he miss a lot of other pain.

SS: The what?

TR: C.N.N.

SS: Oh.

TR: Ice.

SS: Ice.

TR: The swelling's going down.

SS: I see that.

TR: Population's going down.

SS: Rather sharply.

TR: The kudzu is dying.

SS: Thank goodness.

TR: No more stock car racing.

SS: Number of banjos is declining.

TR: Banjos down?

SS: Sudden decline in banjos.

TR: More ice.

SS: More ice.

(PLAY OFF)

© Garrison Keillor 2003