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SFX TISHOMINGO GK: We're in Atlanta, Georgia, a city of friendly people. (SALES
GIRL: Hi. Kin I hep you?) The land of the banjo. (MOUTH BANJO) and the
land of coon dogs (DOGS) And serious eaters. (BURP, THEN SECOND BURP)
eating fried fish (FRYING) , fish caught by serious fishermen. (FN: I'm
using a vibrating lure. Hear it? It's made from a banjo string (MOUTH
BANJO) Fish love it. BANJO) Georgia is the home of serious stock car racing
(RACECARS PASSING) ---- (FN: LOOK OUT, THERE IS A BANJO ON THE RACE TRACK)
RACECAR BRAKES IN SKID, COLLISION WITH BANJO, FOUR MORE RACECARS RUN OVER
IT). I'm going down to Georgia where it's summertime (CRICKETS) Hey Mr. Snipes. Good to see you. FN: Good to see you. How all y'all doing? GK: Just fine. FN: That's good. You want to know my philosophy of life? Life
is a Great, Big Walmart. Some people got on better clothes but that don't
matter. Everybody's got the same size shopping cart. And ever time you
do something good, you get yourself some coupons. And ever time you do
something bad it goes in your shopping cart. A lie or if you be selfish
and mean, it's gonna cost you by the pound. And if you love your wife
and treat her right and don't lie to her, you get a 10 dollar coupon.
And if you raise your children and love them and tell them what you know,
you get a gift certificate for, like, twenty-five dollars. And then on
The Judgment Day you go through The Big Check-Out line. And GOD is the Check-Out Lady and she sees everything in your cart. And
if you can't pay for everything with your coupons, then God throws yo'
ass in a hot car in the parking lot and you sit there and wait forever.
And there ain't no radio. But if you got enough coupons to pay for everything,
then you get to go up to the Bingo Parlor upstairs. And you can eat all
you want and play Bingo and cards and your Mama and Daddy are there. Okay?
Life ain't all that complicated, if you ask me. COLUMBUS STOCKADE GK: We're in Atlanta, Georgia, a city of friendly people. (SALES
GIRL: Hi. Kin I hep you?) The land of the banjo. (MOUTH BANJO) and the
land of coon dogs (DOGS) And serious eaters. (BURP, THEN SECOND BURP)
eating fried fish (FRYING) , fish caught by serious fishermen. (FN: I'm
using a vibrating lure. Hear it? It's made from a banjo string (MOUTH
BANJO) Fish love it. BANJO) Georgia is the home of serious stock car racing
(RACECARS PASSING) ---- (FN: LOOK OUT, THERE IS A BANJO ON THE RACE TRACK)
RACECAR BRAKES IN SKID, COLLISION WITH BANJO, FOUR MORE RACECARS RUN OVER
IT). I'm going down to Georgia where it's summertime (CRICKETS) Hey Mr. Snipes. Good to see you. FN: Good to see you. How all y'all doing? GK: Just fine. FN: That's good. You want to know my philosophy of life? Life
is a Great, Big Walmart. Some people got on better clothes but that don't
matter. Everybody's got the same size shopping cart. And ever time you
do something good, you get yourself some coupons. And ever time you do
something bad it goes in your shopping cart. A lie or if you be selfish
and mean, it's gonna cost you by the pound. And if you love your wife
and treat her right and don't lie to her, you get a 10 dollar coupon.
And if you raise your children and love them and tell them what you know,
you get a gift certificate for, like, twenty-five dollars. And then on
The Judgment Day you go through The Big Check-Out line. And GOD is the Check-Out Lady and she sees everything in your cart. And
if you can't pay for everything with your coupons, then God throws yo'
ass in a hot car in the parking lot and you sit there and wait forever.
And there ain't no radio. But if you got enough coupons to pay for everything,
then you get to go up to the Bingo Parlor upstairs. And you can eat all
you want and play Bingo and cards and your Mama and Daddy are there. Okay?
Life ain't all that complicated, if you ask me. COLUMBUS STOCKADE © Garrison Keillor 2003 |
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Singer and songwriter Andra Suchy talks about singing duets with Garrison, and her latest album, Little Heart.
Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).
