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The Story of Bob (THEME) TR (ANNC): Once again, Rainbow Motor Oil and the Rainbow Family
of Automotive Products presents....The Story of Bob, A Young Artist....starring
Carson Wyler as Bob, and written by Sara Bellum. (DISHES BEING CLEARED FROM THE TABLE) SS: Finish up the rest of those cheesy potatoes, Bob---- I made
them special just for you. GK: I'm too nervous to eat, Berniece. I'm waiting for a phone
call. From Washington. SS: Oh? GK: I entered a collage in a competition. TR (POPS): You going to college? GK: I said, collage. TR: Kind of late to be getting an education at your age. You'd
be the only kid in the cafeteria taking Metamucil. (BIG SCOOP OF VISCOUS
FOOD AND PLOP ON PLATE) Climb up here, Rex, and dig in. (DOG PANTING,
JINGLE OF COLLAR, FOOT TAPPING ON FLOOR) GK: Would you please not let the dog eat off your plate? TR: Mind your own beeswax. SS: What sort of collage did you enter in the contest, Bob? (DOG
EATING MORE, GULPING) GK: It's a video collage. A 15-second collage for the National
Gallery Video Biennale. There's a $10,000 prize. SS: I didn't know you did video, Bob---- you've always done collage----
GK: It's a video collage, Berniece. TR: I'll tell you something ---- you make a video décolletage,
now that's something people will actually watch------ SS: Pops. Shame on you. TR: You gotta give people what they want. How about you try painting
pictures of dogs playing poker? Those are real popular. Let me tell you:
It ain't art, if nobody ever looks at it. Ain't that right, Rex? (DOG
PANTING, JINGLE OF COLLAR, THUMP OF HIND LEG) GK: It's a very prestigious contest. The Video Biennale. It could
make my career for years to come. SS: And you have to buy a nail? GK: That's the name of it. Biennale. It's like a biennial. But
it's a French word. It's pronounced Biennale. SS: Huh. Well, isn't that something. GK: I'm going in my studio. If the phone rings, don't pick it
up. Okay? I'll pick it up in the studio. SS: You want us to let it ring? GK: Yes. That's what I just said. I'll pick it up in the studio.
SS: You'll answer any call or just the one from Washington? GK: Just let the phone ring, Berniece. Please. I don't want Washington
to call and get Pops on the line. (BRIDGE) SS: Bob? You've been in your studio for hours. Can I get you some
cookies? A glass of nectar? GK: I have worked so hard on this video collage, Berniece. SS: Well, I know. You worked so hard that you forgot to put it
in the envelope and mail it. I had to mail it myself. GK: You what? SS: Well, you left it sitting out on the kitchen table and the
envelope was sitting there empty and----- GK: You mailed off my entry? SS: I was just trying to be helpful---- GK: Well, I hope you sent the right one. Was it this one here?
This one on the computer? (15 SECOND VIDEO SEQ. DOG BARK) BOINGS SS: That's very nice. GK: Is that the one you sent? SS: I guess so. Let me see it again. (15 SECOND VIDEO SEQ. DOG BARK. TR (BUSH): My fellow Americans..... BOINGS TR: SWEDISH HIGHWAY TRAFFIC PASSING. GK: I don't know if it's any good or not. I've seen it too many
times. SS: I like it. It's so ---- interesting! GK: I just feel as if it needs one more thing. TR (CALLING OUT FROM THE OTHER ROOM): I'll tell you what it needs.
Some dogs playing poker! With decolletage! GK: Oh, hush. (15 SECOND VIDEO SEQ DOG BARK. TR (BUSH): My fellow Americans.... BOINGS GK: I don't know if I should've put those pigeons in or not. SS: I liked the pigeons! GK: (PHONE RING) ---- oh my gosh---- (PHONE PICKUP) Yes? This
is Bob Boblett---- TR (ON PHONE): Mr. Boblett, this is Mark in Washington. GK: Right. TR (ON PHONE): We got your entry in the Video Biennale --- (bee-an-AWL) GK: The video---- TR (ON PHONE): Biennale. GK: Oh. Right. The biennale. Good. So it got there. The 15-second
video. SS: It's pronounced Biennale, Bob. Biennale. GK: Shut up, Berniece. I'm on the phone. Sorry--- sir---- TR (ON PHONE): I took a look at your video and --- it's brilliant.
GK: Thank you. TR (ON PHONE): It has a tremendous sort of unconscious energy
going on. It's really original---- GK: Unconscious? TR (ON PHONE): I mean---- starting out with the old guy and the
dog and the dog eating off his plate of spaghetti---- that's great----
but then that sudden move with the camera ---- it's almost like you dropped
the camera or something---- GK: What? TR (ON PHONE): And the camera sort of spins and then it stops
and then you see this big moon-faced guy leaning down and reaching for
it---- GK: The big moon-faced guy. Right. SS: Who is it, Bob? GK: Shhhhhh. TR (ON PHONE): It's absolutely brilliant. I love it. There's just
one problem. GK: Oh? TR (ON PHONE): It's too long. GK: Oh. TR (ON PHONE): So what I've done---- and I hope this is okay ----
I've cut out everything except the fifteen seconds when the moon-faced
guy is bending down and reaching for the camera. GK: I see. TR (ON PHONE): It's a great sequence. The effect of gravity on
his jowls. He looks like an old bloodhound. And I've entitled it "Portrait
of the Artist". And I just want to make sure that that is you ----
and you are the artist, right? GK: Right. TR (ON PHONE): The moon-faced guy with the big eyebrows and the
sort of misshapen mouth and no chin? And the great big jowls? And the
sort of blank expression? GK: Right. TR (ON PHONE): Good. Well---- congratulations on your work, Mr.
Boblett. I really like it a lot. GK: Thanks. TR (ON PHONE): I hope you can come to the opening night party.
GK: Great. TR (ON PHONE): We'll definitely be showing your video. Should
we send out invitations to your family and friends? GK: No. No, I don't think so. But thanks. Bye. (HANG UP) SS (BERNIECE): Who was that on the phone, Bob? Was it Washington?
GK: No, it was nothing. SS (BERNIECE): Oh. I was hoping it was the National Gallery. GK: No, it wasn't. SS (BERNIECE): I just want to fly down there and see your video
at the Biennale and take Pops and Rex. Is there some kind of a party for
the opening? GK: No, I don't think so. SS (BERNIECE): Well, when do we get to go see it? GK: You saw it, Berniece. On the computer. SS (BERNIECE): But I want to see it at the museum. Want to see
you win the prize, Bob. GK: It's not about prizes for me, Berniece. That's not why I'm
doing this. It's not for the recognition. It's ---- it's because I'm an
artist. SS (BERNIECE): Well, I know that. GK: I'm an artist, Berniece. SS (BERNIECE): Of course you are. (THEME) TR (ANNC): THE STORY OF BOB, A YOUNG ARTIST....was brought to
you by Rainbow Motor Oil and the Rainbow Family of automotive products.(MUSIC
UP AND OUT) © Garrison Keillor 2003 |
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An Interview with Heather Masse
In a 2009 interview, Heather Masse tells us about her earliest influences, auditioning in a women's bathroom, and a few memorable moments from A Prairie Home Companion.
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