A Prairie Home Companion: October 18, 2003

Palm Waiter
Saturday, October 18, 2003
Listen

(PIANO ELEGANCE, SLIGHTLY FRENCH)

GK: A beautiful night in a fine restaurant and a beautiful woman sitting across the table —

SS: I can tell you're at home with all kinds of cuisines. You look like a man who's been all over the world.

GK: Actually you haven't, and so you're grateful for your PalmWaiter. It's the size of a ballpoint pen and you simply pass the stylus over the menu and you hear the correct pronunciation and translation in the earpiece:

TR: (FRENCH) POACHED CHEEKS OF BUNNY RABBITS AND THEIR GONADS IN CREAM SAUCE.

TK: I think I'll try the vegetarian special.

GK: Now you can read the menu and know what it means, with PalmWaiter.

TR :(ARABIC). Toast with melted cheese.

TK: Give me a plate of the (SAME ARABIC).

SS: You know so much!

TK: Well—- when you're stationed in a place for a couple years, you learn stuff.

SS: Stationed where?

TK: I can't talk about it. Sorry. You understand.

SS: Oh, wow. (STING)

GK: PalmWaiter can read French (TR FRENCH), Italian (TR ITALIAN), Swedish (TR SWEDISH), Russian (TR RUSSIAN), German (TR GERMAN), Japanese (TR JAPANESE), and 2000 other languages including Canadian (TR: MEAT LOAF).

SS: How much French do you know?

TK: Oh, a little. Enough to get by.

GK: Why be embarrassed by monolingualism. Get a PalmWaiter today.

TR (ARABIC): Dog Haunches Sauteed In Fermented Sheep Eyeballs and Lightly Roasted Over A Camel Dung Fire.

GK: Ask for it at any electronics store. (MUSIC BUTTON)