A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Republicans
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Listen
GK: A few months ago I set out on a personal journey to become a Republican, and of course I lost some of my leftist friends, which doesn't bother me because frankly most of them were getting old anyway and they're complaining about their health and I can see where in a few years they're going to be asking me for favors and they're just more trouble than they're worth. And like most Democrats they're all upset and they're introspective and that's a bore. Now that I'm a Republican I'm not interested in politics anymore, I'm able to turn my full attention to home decorating, which is my true love.

The news is about yesterday. Home decoration is about tomorrow. In the future, my home will have a new serenity about it, thanks to drapes and improved lighting ---- there is no need to ever experience cloudy days anymore when you have a home lighting system ----- just turn on a switch and you're happy.

GK: (SINGS)
We're all Republicans now
We're all united, and how,
There's no more dissent
We're all in the tent
We're all Republicans now
We're free from worry and cares,
We got ours so let them get theirs.
We live in nice houses, we drive a nice car,
We have more fun cause that's just how we are
We play hard and work hard and, just so you know,
We're smarter than you, that's why we've got the dough,
Cause we're Republicans,
We are Republicans,
We're all Republicans now.