A Prairie Home Companion: January 10, 2004

Beer
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Listen

GK: Remember back when you were a student and parties were just a whole lot of fun? (CAMPTOWN RACES PIANO, WHOOPING, LAUGHING) And then you got older (MUSIC SLOWS DOWN AND MORPHS INTO A CLASSICAL WALTZ, CHOPINESQUE) and you got more money and a big house and a very desirable wife and a bunch of children with Celtic first names and you came home tired from work and---- there was a party ---- (MURMUR OF VOICES, LOW, QUIET) and it wasn't much fun.

TR: What's that?

TK: This? It's a (FRENCH NAME).

TR: Where's it from? Canada?

TK: It's from the Napa valley.

TR: Oh. I thought Napa was for auto parts.

TK: It's a terrific wine.

TR: Oh really. I prefer the (FRENCH NAME).

TK: You've got to be kidding. The (SAME FRENCH NAME)?

TR: Yes.

TK: The (SAME FRENCH NAME) is nothing but bilgewater.

TR: I didn't say (SAME FRENCH NAME) ---- I said (SIMILAR FRENCH NAME).

TK: Same thing.

TR: (SIMILAR FRENCH NAME)? You're saying that's the same as (FIRST FRENCH NAME).

TK: And besides you're mispronouncing it?

TR: You're criticizing my French pronunciation? You?

TK: Why you pretentious idiot----- (A FULL SCALE FISTFIGHT, WITH DOG BARKS)

SS: Oh John---- please------ why do you do this? What's wrong with us? Why can't we just be happy? (SOBS) (SCENE FADES INTO BRIDGE)

GK: What happened to them? It's simple. They got into wine and they got over their heads. Back when they were students and the parties were fun, what were they drinking? You guessed it. Beer. Beer drinkers are nicer people and more fun to be with.

(POP TOP CAN, BEER POURING INTO GLASS)

TR: So this guy walks into a bar and he says, "Hey! Who put that bar there?"

(TR AND SS LAUGHTER)

TK: Doggone it, I can't believe it's 9 o'clock already.

SS: Time sure flies when you're having fun!

TR: You and Lois are sure a couple of live wires.

TK: What do you say the four of us go bowling some night? You and me and the gals -----

TR: Sounds like a nifty idea. (MUSIC)

GK: Beer: it brings people together. A message from Wisconsin Brewing Association.