A Prairie Home Companion: January 10, 2004

Fritz Electronics
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Listen

.....You go to these big warehouse stores and you just don't get the service you used to-----

GK: Excuse me. Do you work here?

SS: Yeah---- Why?

GK: I'm looking for a modem.

SS: Oh. I think they're over there somewhere. In that stack of boxes. By the computer stuff.

GK: You got cable modems?

SS: I don't know. It probably says on the box.

GK: Is there anyone else I could talk to?

SS: The manager.

GK: Where is he?

SS: You can call him---- it's 1-800---

GK: What about the assistant manager?

SS: He's in back, doing his homework.

GK: Never mind. Thanks for your help.

SS: Hey. No problem. (BRIDGE)

GK: So you wind up having to call a technical person in New Delhi -----

TR (INDIAN): Yes, how may I be of assistance?

GK: It's about this printer. It won't work.

TR (INDIAN): Maybe it won't work because it's a terrible printer.

GK: No, I just bought it a year ago.

TR (INDIAN): Year ago! Ha! Go buy a new printer. It's cheaper. Buy three printers and get the fourth printer for free. (BRIDGE)

GK: You don't have that problem at Fritz Electronics. Fritz is there to service what he sells.

TR: Here, you stick this thingamajiggy over here back of the little flange thing, and ---- see how this goes ---- you twist this around like that and ---- put this guy in here----- coupla turns of the screw there ---- see how that goes? Then this thing fastens in here. And------ huh. What's the deal with that? ----That's no good. Anyhoo. You just take this little whoozitz here and you ----- huh. ---- Well, isn't that interesting now? ----- Aw, who needs it. You just put this guy on there----- and cover it up with duct tape. All set to go.

GK: Fritz Electronics. It's personal service you can't find anywhere else. (FRITZ ORGAN THEME)