Saturday,
January 31, 2004
Listen
GK: …today's show is brought to you by the Café Boeuf on Burgundy Street with Henri, the maitre'd. Bon soir, Henri.
TR (FRENCH): Do I want a cigar? No I don't.
GK: No, no, no----- I said Bon soir.
TR (FRENCH): A red cigar---- why would I want a red cigar?
GK: Never mind. What's on the menu tonight?
TR (FRENCH): Tonight on the menu we have the (FRENCH GIBBERISH)---- and that is fixed in a Sauce (GIBBERISH) and served on a bed of (GIBBERISH). Along with a (FRENCH VOCALISM FOR SMALL) of (GIBBERISH).
GK: I see.
TR (FRENCH): You wish to order some of that?
GK: This dish---- this (GIBBERISH) ---- is this ----
TR (FRENCH): Non non non---- I didn't say that, I said (GIBBERISH)----
GK: What did I say?
TR (FRENCH): You said that my wife looks like a suitcase.
GK: Henri, I know that New Orleans has a great culinary tradition but I'm from the north, and we don't eat things that are bug-like, with antennae, like crawfish----
TR (FRENCH): This is not crawfish.
GK: No?
TR (FRENCH): Non non non. No crawfish in the (FRENCH GIBBERISH NAME).
GK: No intestines? I know southerners eat intestines. Brains. We northerners don't go for brains.
TR (FRENCH): We have noticed this, monsieur. Believe me.
GK: So what is this---- this---- the thing you said-----
TR (FRENCH): Catfish.
GK: Oh. Okay.
TR (FRENCH): The lips of the catfish.
GK: How about I just have boeuf?
TR (FRENCH): Excellent choice.
GK: I'll just have the boeuf. Is it organic?
TR (FRENCH): You wish the organs too?
GK: No, no----- just the boeuf.
TR (FRENCH): And how about I serve the boeuf in a special sauce, our (LONG FRENCH NAME)----
GK: Heck. Whay not. But don't tell me what's in it. Okay? Promise.
TR (FRENCH): I am zipping my lips and throwing away the key.
GK: The Café boeuf…. The home of bon temps, of élan, of joie de vivre, of passion, of (BOTH, KNOWING FRENCH LAUGH)---- (PLAYOFF)
