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Duct Tape
Saturday,
February 7, 2004
Listen
……we'll be back after a word about duct tape-----(PIANO ARPEG….) (CLINK OF DISHES, GLASSWARE)
TR (RICH GUY): It was so good of you to come all the way from Minnesota to Greenwich to meet Daphne and me, Carl----
TR (RICH GUY'S WIFE): Yes indeed. And I hope that the parsnip bisque was to your liking?
FN: It was great, Mr. and Mrs. Postlethwaite.
TR (RICH GUY'S WIFE): Oh please. Call us Roderick and Daphne.
TR (RICH GUY): Yes. After all, you're soon to be a member of the family, right, Julie?
SS: Oh Daddy! Do you approve?
TR (RICH GUY): Absolutely. Carl is a young man with his head on his shoulders and as soon as he gets a better grasp of how the President's tax cuts are helping the entire country and not just those of us at the top, he'll be a tremendous addition to the family.
FN: Would you excuse me, please?
SS: Are you all right, Carl?
FN: Yes, of course. Where is your lavatory?
TR (RICH GUY'S WIFE): Right through the billiard room and before the solarium
FN: Thanks. (FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPEN, CLOSE. RUNNING FOOTSTEPS. DOOR OPEN, CLOSE. RUNNING FOOTSTEPS. DOOR OPEN.) (TO HIMSELF, BREATHING HARD) Oh man. I gotta go so bad, I just hope I can get unzipped before I---- (BIG RIP) Oh no. My best pants. What am I going to do now???? (BRIDGE)
GK: Not a problem if you remembered to bring duct tape along. Now duct tape comes in a flat roll ---- 500 feet of duct tape folded to the size of a Palm Pilot. Because you never know when disaster will strike. (BIG RIP)
FN: I had no duct tape and so I had to crawl out the bathroom window and run across the grounds and a dog chased me and tore off more of my pants and I was arrested for public indecency and (GAVEL BONKS, ECHOEY) I was sent up for six months and (PRISON DOOR SHUTS) six weeks later Mr. Postlethwaite joined me---
TR (RICH GUY): Oh, hello Carl.
FN: He'd been convicted of stock fraud. We spent two months together in the same cell and hatched a scheme to sell burial insurance to teenagers and I got out and I did and he turned state's evidence and I was sent up for fifteen years. All because I forgot the duct tape.
GK: Carl's life is forever ruined but yours needn't be. It just makes sense to carry duct tape wherever you go. A message from the American Duct Tape Council. (QUACKS) Duct tape….it's almost the only thing that really works sometime.
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On July 4th, help us celebrate the 35th Anniversary of A Prairie Home Companion and the Fourth of July with a free live nationally broadcast show from Avon, MN.
From Garrison Keillor:
“When I was 16, Helen Fleischman assigned me to memorize Shakespeare’s Sonnet No. 29, ‘When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state’ for English class, and fifty years later, that poem is still in my head. Algebra got washed away, and geometry and most of biology, but those lines about the redemptive power of love in the face of shame are still here behind my eyeballs, more permanent than my own teeth. The sonnet is a durable good. These 77 of mine include sonnets of praise, some erotic, some lamentations, some street sonnets and a 12-sonnet cycle of months. If anything here offends, I beg your pardon, I come in peace, I depart in gratitude.”
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Robin & Linda Williams are among the most popular guest performers of A Prairie Home Companion (they also appeared in the movie, have performed as part of the The Hopeful Gospel Quartet, and made appearances as Marvin & Mavis Smiley). This CD features some of the duo's best harmonies from the show. Among the 12 tracks are familiar fan favorites, including "For Better or Worse", "Visions of Mother and Dad", "Tied Down, Home Free" and the title track. A collection that is muy bueno!
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