A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Wait
Saturday, February 7, 2004
Listen

GK: ……right after this message from Wait People. (PIANO)

SS: We're running a little late. Dr. Machete will be ready for you in about forty-five minutes. We appreciate your patience.

GK: If you hate waiting, call Wait People and hire a professional waiter to take your place in line and call you on your cellphone when the waiting is done. Time is money. You've got better things to do -----

FN: Hi. I'm Craig and I'm a waiting professional. I carry a folding chair, a portable TV, an MP3 player, a mini-fridge full of mineral water, and I'm happy for up to eight hours. Overnight in a sleeping bag on the sidewalk in front of a box office? No problem. It's what I do.

GK: So you go and get on with your life until Craig calls to tell you that the doctor is really ready to see you.

FN: I can sit through movie trailers for you or hold your place in line at college registration. I can even put on a wig and wait for a stall in the women's restroom.

GK: Craig is a trained, professional waiter and lines just move faster when he's there----

FN: Hey! What's taking so long! Move it! Come on, come on, come on. Let's do this while we're young!

GK: Wait People. Make them part of your support network. You'll be glad you did.