A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Taxes
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Listen
GK: Less than a week to finish your taxes, and you're starting to sweat ---- Maybe it's time to call in the dudes at Extreme Accounting---- the only CPAs in town with tongue studs and pierced eyebrows. (ANOTHER GUITAR RIFF)

TR (CALIFORNIAN SKATE PUNK): Watch and learn while we take taxes to the max. We're gonna turbo-file with the maximum deductions so you can chill in style and not worry about doing the perp walk. Awesome! (GUITAR) We'll do a total asset turnover and then go right into a two-party endorsement for capital reserve.

SS (SKATE PUNK): No way!

TK (SKATE PUNK): Yes way, bro. Yo, dawg.

SS (SKATE PUNK): Awesome! (GUITAR RIFF)

TR (SKATE PUNK): Extreme accounting is dangerous yo, so don't do it at home. We're gonna underreport the revolving loan on your restricted assets, which is so not legal.

TK: Yo, dawg.

SS (SKATE PUNK): Dude, Your Keynesian growth model is whack.

TR (SKATE PUNK): You're welcome. (GUITAR)

GK: Extreme Accounting. It's not for the timid.

SS (SKATE PUNK): Check it, dawg--I'm doin' a killa stock split warm-up to fixed asset turnover! Now that's extreme style!

TR: Yo, the IRS is all up in my business, so do an asset reversion on your unsecured Z-score, and gimmie props, yo, I gou a major deduction.

TK: Yo, dawg.

SS: You the b-zizzabomb, boy. Check it out!

TK: Awesome! (GUITAR)

GK: That's right, at Extreme Accounting we bring the maximum refund action for some serious bling bling. Can you take the heat? Extreme accounting. When you're ready to file on the edge. (GUITAR OUT)