Saturday, April 17, 2004
Listen
GK: …….after this message from the Catchup Advisory Board.
SS: These are the good years for Jim and me. Our neighbors started a blog called "The Journal of the Johnsons" and it sure cleared up a lot of questions we've been having based on what we see out the kitchen window. The cat's been vomiting in the living room, thank goodness, and now we can finally rip out that ancient carpet and replace it with hardwood. And nobody showed up to my book club meeting last week so I got to eat two trays of lemon bars all by myself. And I didn't have to say the cruel things I was going to say about the idiots who recommended this turkey. And then one day I found Jim pacing the living room, looking upset. Jim, what's wrong?
TR: Oh, Barb, I tried to tell a joke at work today, and I totally blew it.
SS: Oh, Jim.
TR: Everyone was sitting around, and then it was my turn, and-- it was awful---
SS: What joke? Tell it to me.
TR: Okay. Imagine there are these two penguins-
SS: Don't say "imagine," Jim. Say-- There ARE two penguins…
TR: There ARE two penguins
SS: Good!
TR: Now I'm nervous.
SS: Jim, it's just me. If I'd wanted to marry a comedian, I would have married Doug, or Alan, or Chuck. Or Larry.
TR: Who's Larry?
SS: Just a very funny guy from long ago. Go on.
TR: There are two penguins, and they're sitting on an ice floe, and one says to the other, you look like you're wearing a bolero.
SS: A bolero, Jim?
TR: What is he wearing?
SS: A tuxedo.
TR: Are you sure?
SS: Yes, he says, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo," and the other penguin says, "Who says I'm not?"
TR: I don't get it. I think bolero is funnier.
SS: Jim, all you need is a little more Catchup. Catchup contains natural mellowing agents that help you lose those performance jitters so you're able to tell jokes with confidence even if they're not very good.
RD (SINGS): Spring is here, time to tell your jokes
About blondes and Iowans and Norwegian folks
Life is flowing like Catchup on artichokes.
GK: Catchup. For the good times.
RD (SINGS): Catchup…Catchup…
