A Prairie Home Companion: April 24, 2004

Catchup
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Listen

GK: …….after this message from the Catchup Advisory Board.

TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. I twisted my ankle on the stairs at work and the company is terrified of lawsuits so a vice-president came and stuffed hundred-dollar bills in my pockets and it paid for Barb and I to come to Duluth, where we spent our honeymoon 24 years ago. The cat keeps leaving dead chipmunks on our front steps, and tha;s been keeping the fundraisers away. Yesterday it was so foggy that I drove into a post, and now I can park in those spots that say "Compact Cars Only." We got a nice room in a hotel down by the harbor and late one night I found Barb staring wistfully out the window at the fog. What's wrong, Barb?

SS: Oh, Jim. Remember of our honeymoon? I wore my white go-go boots and the red velour pantsuit and you wore that rainbow poncho and the Fu Manchu moustache.

TR: I remember, Barb.

SS: We were so full of youth and promise, Jim. What happened?

TR: You told me to shave off the moustache.

SS: I did.

TR: You said to lose it.

SS: We've become drab, Jim. What happened?

TR: We had kids and they sucked the life right out of us. That's what happened. They turned us into a couple of ghosts.

SS: Remember on our honeymoon, when the fog horn sounded, how exciting it was?

TR: Exciting how?

SS: You remember.

TR: (FOGHORN)

SS: Ohhh. (SHIVER) Kiss me, you fool.

TR: (FOGHORN)

SS: Oh, Hold me Jim. (REACTION) What's that in your hand?

TR: It's Catchup, Barb. Full of natural mellowing agents.

SS: Put it down.

RD (SINGS): These are the good years -
The music we're sharing
See the bright colors women are wearing
Catchup is flowing on your pickled herring.

GK: Catchup. For the good times.

RD (SINGS): Catchup…Catchup…