A Prairie Home Companion: May 8, 2004

Sauce
Saturday, May 8, 2004
Listen

. . . brought to you by Wausau Wilderness Sauce. (TARZAN CRY)

TR (KIRK LIKE): When you head out on the trail, you don't have room to carry a lot of condiments. So I make mine ----- Wausau Wilderness Sauce. (SLAPS BOTTOM OF BOTTLE, THICK SAUCE STARTS TO COME OUT IN BLOBS) Tastes good on squirrel…..raccoon……..badger. If you don't care for badger, you will once you try it with Wausau. Also makes a good lubricant for your chainsaw. (CHAINSAW STARTS UP, REVS) That baby sure runs smooth. Keeps the rust out of your shotgun too. (RIFLE SHOT) Mixes in with the gasoline to make your outboard motor run smooth. (START AND RUN). And it's a great hair dressing too. (POURING) It also seals up radiator leaks. (DRIPS, THEN SLOW, THEN STOP) See? Works every time. And look at how it looses up rusted lug nuts. (TURNING NUT) See how easy that is? Use it in mousetraps ---- rodents can't resist it! (SNAP OF TRAP). Takes the place of massage oil, Preparation H and KY Jelly. Tastes good on ice cream too.

GK: That's Wausau Wilderness Sauce

TR: Contains no benzene hexachloride. Never has and never will. (TARZAN CRY)