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Bertha's Kitty Boutique
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Listen
GK: ... brought to you by Bertha's Kitty Boutique.
Cats are very meticulous about how they look and that's why your cat is constantly licking himself and preening, and now Bertha'a Kitty Boutique offers a full line of cosmetic surgery procedures for your cat. When your mommy cat walks across the floor, does she hang down more than she used to? A little tummy tuck can fix that. If your tom cat is self-conscious about a chewed-up ear or a gouge on his face from a losing catfight, we can fix that too. Your cat doesn't want crow's feet, if he did, he'd go catch one, so maybe an eye job is in order. For the scrawny cat, there are silicon gel breast implants. We do all 8 for just one low price. Only at Bertha's Kitty Boutique…for persons who care about cats.
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A national holiday in Lake Wobegon is always gaudy and joyful. But what is going on between Clint Bunsen and Miss Liberty?
Everyone is here—Pastor Ingqvist, the Sons of Knute, Sister Arvonne of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility and her ocarina band, the Norwegian bachelor farmers, Dorothy and the Chatterbox Café, Wally in the Sidetrack Tap—as crowds converge on the little town to celebrate American independence, even as the chairman of the event broods on the great question of the day: Shall we struggle on valiantly here or shall we burst the bonds and find beautiful life in the golden west?
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Scripts and bits from A Prairie Home Companion celebrate the secret society of men and women who possess excellent spelling and punctuation skills. (You know who you are.)
Selections include "The Six-Minute Hamlet," a tribute to Emily Dickinson, a Guy Noir adventure that exposes an MFA scam, a riveting "Professional Organization of English Majors" drama, and guests Billy Collins, Robert Bly, Roy Blount Jr., and Calvin Trillin.
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