SFX (School)
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Listen

GK: Tonight we have two of the giants in the radio sound effects field with us, Mr. Tom Keith and Mr. Fred Newman. Two men responsible for giving bad dreams to millions of American kids.

TK (BOY): It's so darned dark all of a sudden, Rex. (DOG WOOFS) I think we're lost! (CHORD) How come those giant birds are circling overhead? (SHRILL BIRD CRIES) Rex? Where'd you go, Rex? (LION) Oh oh. (CHORD)

GK: So many kiddoes tuning in our show for a little comfort before bedtime have found terror instead---- (DRIPS. HEAVY BREATHING) (LONG DOOR CREAK) (EVIL LAUGH) Now you can do the same and earn big money with a career as a radio sound effects man after just 36 lessons by mail order from the Newman Keith School of Montclair, New Jersey.

FN (ELECTRONIC VOICE): Welcome to our School. ---- (SNARLING ANIMAL, MAN BACKING UP IN TERROR, FALLING OFF CLIFF, LONG FALL, SPLASH)

GK: At the Newman Keith School , you'll progress rapidly from simple sounds like surf (SURF, GULLS) and helicopters (CHOPPERS) and jet airplanes (JET) to more complex sounds¼..such as a man playing the bagpipes underwater and being eaten by a shark ----- (BAGPIPES, BUBBLING, SHARK ATTACK. LAST GROAN OF PIPES) ----- a chimpanzee flying a Curtiss Biplane (SFX, INCLUDING LOOPS) -----a car racing along a country road and skidding out of control through a barnyard and hitting the henhouse (SFX) ----- a man chasing a mosquito with a chainsaw (SFX) ----- a man with a parrot on his shoulder walking down the street carrying a boombox (SFX) ----- a baby being rescued by a St. Bernard from the path of a speeding locomotive (SFX) ----- a man playing the trumpet as he tapdances with suction cups on his shoes (SFX) ----- and an elephant listening to the Bach Sonata for unaccompanied cello and blowing its nose into a handkerchief (SFX).

A career in radio sound effects can be yours, with all the wealth and prestige that go with it ---- from the (TK P.A. ECHO) Newman Keith School of Montclair, New Jersey. (ROCKETS)