Catchup
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Listen

GK: ...a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

(MUSIC)

SS: These are the good years for me and Jim. Jim went berserk at the office and ran around threatening people with a sharpened pencil and as a result he got two months of medical leave and some wonderful medications and he's been very happy ever since. The results of my tests came back from the doctors and my static lipids are excellent and my solids are good, too, and my neutrons are heavy and my PTL is very good. The neighbor kid who had the rock and roll band hasn't been playing much since the tree fell on their garage. My mother came to visit us but she got the address mixed up and what with our unlisted number, she never did find us, so that was a relief. And then one evening I found Jim looking at a road atlas. ---- Honey, what's wrong?

TR: Barb, how long have I been sitting in that chair staring at the Cooking Channel?

SS: Just since Tuesday----

TR: This is the sixth Ratatouille I've watched, Barb, I've got to get out of the house. Do something. Go somewhere.

SS: But why?

TR: Why? I want to live my life, Barb. I don't want to be a vegetable.

SS: Oh. Well, okay. Where do you want to go?

TR: Someplace not too crowded -----

SS: So Yellowstone is out. Yosemite. Graceland.

TR: Right. I want to go someplace people don't think of going-----

SS: How about New Jersey?

TR: Great. But what part of New Jersey?

SS: How about Elizabeth?

TR: What's there?

SS: I don't know, but it's a nice name. And it's close to Secaucus, Newark, Rutherford, New York City----

TR: I don't want to go to New York City.

SS: Then we could go to Neptune. Perth Amboy. Red Bank. The mall at Short Hills. So many choices----- and how about this? Ocean Grove. They have a concert series there.

TR: I don't care for crowds and noise, Barb----

SS: These are quiet concerts, Jim. ----

TR: Really?

SS: That's what it says. No applause. People just wave handkerchiefs. And in case people should get carried away, they hand out packets of ketchup. Ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that keep an audience from getting carried away.

RD: These are the good years, when all of life is spread
Out there before us, with more good times ahead.
Life is flowing, like ketchup on white bread.

GK: Ketchup... for the good times.

RD: Ketchup.... Ketchup....

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