A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Rides
Saturday, September 4, 2004
Listen

GK: One of the biggest attractions at the MN State Fair is the rides. They seem to get more exciting every year. And with us today is the woman who designs the Fair rides, Volmar, Princess of Pain.

SS: (GOTH) Hey. My pleasure.

GK: So where do you get your ideas for new rides?

SS: All of the rides I design are based on a particular life experience that I have had. Like the Mammogram Ride -----

GK: That's for women.

SS: No, no. You should try it. You ever get part of your chest caught in a wringer?

GK: Never.

SS: Try it, you'll never forget it. ---- and we have another new ride called "The Lariat"? Okay? It's kind of like horizontal bungee jumping. There's this strap around your legs and you go round and round ---- it's kind of based on what it was like during childbirth.

GK: I see. It looks dangerous.

SS: Life is dangerous. I don't think you should go on a ride expecting it to lie to you, okay? Be real.

GK: OK. What's this one here?

SS: This one is called "The Clothes Dryer."

GK: It looks like a clothes dryer.

SS: It is a clothes dryer. You're strapped inside and you spin and you scream until you black out from the G-force.

GK: Have you ever ridden it?

SS: I didn't have to. I know what it's like from my first marriage. You want to try it?

GK: No thanks, Valmar, the princess of pain and designer of the rides here at the MN State Fair. (PLAYOFF)