A Prairie Home Companion: October 9, 2004

Organ Script
Saturday, October 9, 2004
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GK: Coming up later on many of these stations, The Phantom of the Organ. The story of a church organist and his sordid campaign for personal supremacy.

TR (QUIETLY, EVILLY): For two years, I've chosen hymns for the service that only I know and every Sunday morning I play the hymns a fraction of a decibel louder. And one beat per minute faster. I've managed to cut attendance almost in half. Someday, it will be only me on Sunday morning—me and my 350 horsepower Peterbilt organ. (HARSH BAGPIPE LIKE NOTE, TK & RD ORGAN) The most powerful pipe organ in the world, with me—W. Craig Peterson at the controls—I will rule this church and I will play WHAT I WANT and play it AS LOUD AS I WANT. (FIENDISH LAUGHTER)

GK: Join us this week as Pastor Lindgren says—

TR: I'm losing my mind. I don't know why. I keep hearing a low humming sound during the sermon. What is happening to me?

TR: (TO HIMSELF) No, I don't believe in the Trinity. I never did. I believe in the Human Will To Triumph. I believe in Total Domination by Sound! I believe in ME! (REVERB ON "ME")

GK: That's later tonight on The Phantom of the Organ. (OMINOSO ORGAN)