Kerry script
 Saturday, October 23, 2004
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(MUSIC)

GK: And now a message from the Bureau of Regular Guys.

TR (KERRY): Sometimes, I may not appear to be a regular guy. I'm a rich 61-year-old Yale-educated U.S. Senator cruising around on a windjammer and married to a billionaire from Mozambique. You might think I'm a little out of touch—a little too smart—maybe even a little too tall. So it's in times like this I like to head on over to a swing state and kill a bird. (BANG, SQUACK, FLAPPING, THUD) That's right. It's hunting season, and time to put on some camo, smudge on a little greasepaint, and shoot me a goose out of the sky in Ohio. (GOOSE HONK, GUNSHOT) Lots of birds there and Wisconsin and Iowa— Afterwards I go to a Kerry Okie bar and have me a cold one (POP TOP) and gather round with the other guys and sing some Johnny Cash — (RHYTHM TRACK) I hear that train a-coming, it's coming round the bend, I ain't had no truffles since I was in Rouen, I'm going to Ohio, to shoot down things that fly. And vote November 2nd for K-e-r-r-y (HONK, GUNSHOT, FLAPPING, THUD). I'm John Kerry, and I shot that goose.

(MUSIC OUT)

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