Catchup
Saturday, November 6, 2004
Listen

Tim Russell: These are the good years for Barb and me. I woke up the morning after the election feeling pretty cheerful and brushed my teeth and felt like singing— and took a brisk walk — (HE SINGS) Oh what a beautiful mandate — and then I noticed Barb in the corner, grinding up glass in the Cuisinart. (SFX) Barb — Barb — (MACHINE SHUTS DOWN, COASTS TO STOP) — what are you doing with that ground glass?

Sue Scott: Nothing.

TR: Barb, I was thinking about getting a new SUV — what do you think of bright red?

SS: Whatever.

TR: Barb, what is it?

SS: What's what?

TR: Something's wrong.

SS: Nothing's wrong. I'm fine.

TR: Barb, you can tell me.

SS: Nothing's wrong. I told you.

TR: Okay.

SS: I'm fine.

TR: Fine.

SS: Mm hm. The future is bright, that's for sure.

TR: Well, I think it is.

SS: Apparently.

TR: Barb, is this about the election —?

SS: Oh? Was there an election?

TR: Barb —

SS: Jim, I married a free spirit with a beard who liked to sit around in the dark and listen to the Grateful Dead, and talk about life and now I'm sleeping with Rush Limbaugh.

TR: Barb —

SS: I just can't believe you did it.

TR: Barb, so did 59 million other people —

SS: I don't care about them —

TR: But Minnesota went your way —

SS: That's not the point.

TR: Okay, but —

SS: What's done cannot be undone.

TR: Oh, Barb, you don't have to get all divisive about this. Why don't we just sit down for a nice bowl of Catchup. Catchup has natural mellowing agents that let you let go of the past and come back together — why is this ketchup glittery like this?

SS: Oh? Is it glittery?

Rich Dworsky: The election is over, the commercials are done

Five hundred million dollars of campaign funds

Life is flowing, like ketchup on your buns.

Garrison Keillor: Catchup, for the good times.

RD: Catchup... Catchup...