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Catchup
Saturday, November 6, 2004
Listen
Tim Russell: These are the good years for Barb and me. I woke up the morning after the election feeling pretty cheerful and brushed my teeth and felt like singing— and took a brisk walk — (HE SINGS) Oh what a beautiful mandate — and then I noticed Barb in the corner, grinding up glass in the Cuisinart. (SFX) Barb — Barb — (MACHINE SHUTS DOWN, COASTS TO STOP) — what are you doing with that ground glass?
Sue Scott: Nothing.
TR: Barb, I was thinking about getting a new SUV — what do you think of bright red?
SS: Whatever.
TR: Barb, what is it?
SS: What's what?
TR: Something's wrong.
SS: Nothing's wrong. I'm fine.
TR: Barb, you can tell me.
SS: Nothing's wrong. I told you.
TR: Okay.
SS: I'm fine.
TR: Fine.
SS: Mm hm. The future is bright, that's for sure.
TR: Well, I think it is.
SS: Apparently.
TR: Barb, is this about the election —?
SS: Oh? Was there an election?
TR: Barb —
SS: Jim, I married a free spirit with a beard who liked to sit around in the dark and listen to the Grateful Dead, and talk about life and now I'm sleeping with Rush Limbaugh.
TR: Barb —
SS: I just can't believe you did it.
TR: Barb, so did 59 million other people —
SS: I don't care about them —
TR: But Minnesota went your way —
SS: That's not the point.
TR: Okay, but —
SS: What's done cannot be undone.
TR: Oh, Barb, you don't have to get all divisive about this. Why don't we just sit down for a nice bowl of Catchup. Catchup has natural mellowing agents that let you let go of the past and come back together — why is this ketchup glittery like this?
SS: Oh? Is it glittery?
Rich Dworsky: The election is over, the commercials are done
Five hundred million dollars of campaign funds
Life is flowing, like ketchup on your buns.
Garrison Keillor: Catchup, for the good times.
RD: Catchup... Catchup...
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