A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Bass Script
Saturday, November 13, 2004
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(A SLOW JAZZ BALLAD, MUSIC FROM BASS PERSPECTIVE)

Tim Russell: I sound really good tonight.

Sounds really mellow.

Glad I tuned it.

That woman in the third row keeps looking at me.

That's about the fourth time.

Do I know her from somewhere?

Oh my gosh. I didn't park my car in the half-hour truck loading zone, did I?

I couldn't have.

She sort of looks like Jennifer.
Naw.
Jennifer didn't have a crew cut.
Of course it's been a few years.

Darn. It was the truck loading zone. I was gonna move it and I forgot. They've probably towed my car by now.

How am I going to get this thing home?

There she is looking at me again.

Who's the hatchet-faced guy next to her?

Looks like a lawyer.

Oh oh— here comes my solo. I think it's my solo.

(SOLO)

Yeah. It's my solo.

I am really sounding great tonight.

Too bad nobody listens to the bass solo.

The moment they hear the bass, people turn and resume their conversations.

Except her. She's looking up here.

If my car was towed, I'm going to have to find a ride home with somebody.

Somebody with a station wagon.

Jennifer used to drive a van and the rear seats went down to make a space big enough for a bass. It was sure big enough for the two of us.

I don't think that's Jennifer. Why would she come to see me play?

Maybe she doesn't know it's me.

Nobody notices the bass player anyway.

Who is that guy?

(ENDING OF BALLAD, SERIES OF SOLO LINES: PIANO, BRUSHES ON DRUMS, GUITAR, BASS)

Why is she standing up and putting on her coat? Didn't she like the music?

She's leaving with him. Oh well. She had her chance.

She doesn't know it but she almost got to give me a ride home.

Maybe next time.