A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Meat Script
Saturday, November 27, 2004
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Tim Russell: This is Fred Farrell for Big Red No. 1 Wholesale Meats. Instead of sending the ones you love a crummy fruit basket with a bunch of boring apples and pears in it, or even worse, a fruitcake, why not send a Festive Protein Basket full of steak, ribs, bacon, steak, liver, hamburger and more steak. The basket itself is made from an actual ribcage. Order now and get six bonus reindeer cutlets, one of them with a cherry on top. Meat gives you strength and energy and helps you lose weight when consumed in mass quantities. Forget about fruit. Nobody eats it anyway. Give meat. It's a way of saying: have a Merry Christmas or else.

Rich Dworsky (SINGS): You're at the top of the food chain
So use your brain.
Don't eat off the ground.
Your dinner is walking around
On four feet.
Eat meat.