A Prairie Home Companion: January 8, 2005

Cell Phone script
Saturday, January 8, 2005
Listen

RING

Sue Scott (ON PHONE): Hello?

Tim Russell (ON PHONE): Are you out of the shower?

SS (ON PHONE): It's all yours.

Fred Newman: If you're a cell phone user making most of your calls to locations inside your own home, maybe Extreme Local Cellular is the plan for you. You get the phone for free and you pay just $4 a month.

RING

SS (ON PHONE): Yeah?

TR (ON PHONE): Just thought you'd like the know, the living room is on fire

SS (ON PHONE): Well what do you expect me to do about it?

TR (ON PHONE): Call the fire department?

SS (ON PHONE): You've got a phone in your hand, you can't even — oh. Right.

TR (ON PHONE): I'd have to pay a dollar additional to go outside.

FN: Calls outside the home cost a dollar for the first two, and then fourteen dollars apiece thereafter. But calls within the home — talk on the phone as long as you like for just four dollars a month.

RING

TR: Yeah?

SS: Just wanted you to know, I'm leaving.

TR: Oh. Okay.

SS: For good.

TR: Oh.

SS: We never go anywhere, we never do anything……

TR: What do you want to do?

SS: Get out of here.

TR: Okay. You going to take your phone?

SS: No.

TR: Okay.

FN: Keeping you in touch with those you live with. Extremely Local Calling. $4. a month and the phone is free. (EXTREMELY FAST) Additional carrying charges may apply depending on the time of day.

Garrison Keillor: What's that?

FN: (EXTREMELY FAST) Additional carrying charges may apply depending on the time of day.

GK: Still didn't get it.

FN: (EXTREMELY FAST) Additional carrying charges may apply depending on the time of day.