Catchup script
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Listen

Sue Scott: These are the good years for Jim and me. Jim slipped on the ice last week and hit the side of his head and he has been a lot more agreeable ever since. It's been freezing cold and so I haven't had to go anywhere or do anything for a couple weeks now. I just get up around noon and take a shower and go back to bed and read books and eat cherry creams and sleep. I went online to get my e-mail and got this Internet Casino pop-up and I was winning at poker for awhile and then the screen froze and I haven't heard from them yet but I expect to get a check in the mail any day now. We should have been happy. And then we made the mistake of trying to communicate.

Tim Russell: (HUMMING)

SS: Jim, I have something I need to discuss with you.

TR: Yes?

SS: Jim, I want to move my mother in with us.

TR: (LONG PAUSE)

SS: I know the two of you haven't been close and I realize that her assessment of you was harsh at the beginning, but — she's family and I want her to live here with us and not out in assisted living with some strangers giving her a bath when you and I could be doing it.......

TR: (LONG PAUSE)

SS: So what do you think?

TR: Well, I think it's something we ought to talk about.

SS: That's what we're doing right now.

TR: We don't have room.

SS: What are you talking about? The kids' rooms are empty, and we have the guest bedroom—

TR: But I was planning on using those rooms.

SS: For what?

TR: Exercise.

SS: All of them?

TR: I like moving from room to room. It's meditative.

SS: Jim, we got that treadmill a year ago and you haven't used it except to keep your printer on.

TR: But... isn't your mother allergic to dogs?

SS: Jim, we don't have a dog.

TR: I've always wanted a dog.

SS: Jim, this is ridiculous.

TR: Barb... your mother is a very nice woman. I don't mind the oyster casserole. And I don't mind helping her put on her support stockings-but-what if we have to watch the gameshow channel? I don't think I can take it.

SS: Jim, why don't we talk about this over a nice big helping of ketchup? Ketchup has natural mellowing agents that help you let go of your petty selfishness and open your heart to those in need.

Rich Dworsky (SINGING): These are the good times, snow upon the boughs,
In-laws are coming
To live inside your house
Life is flowing,
Like ketchup on ruffed grouse.

Garrison Keillor: Ketchup, for the good times...

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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