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Pants script
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Listen
Garrison Keillor: Are you having trouble keeping your pants up and your underwear down? If so, you're not alone. Every year, more and more people struggle to keep their pants from falling down around their ankles. And keeping their underwear from bunching up. And it isn't only teenagers. Pants slippage and underwear creepage can happen to anyone, at any time.
Time for Saf-T-Flex 2-way suspenders. The shoulder straps keep pants up. And elastic bands fastened to your ankles keep underwear down, well below the waistline of any standard pair of pants. No more worry.
Tim Russell (TEEN): Before 2-Way suspenders, I couldn't concentrate in school because I was so worried my pants were going to fall down. But now I can sport the extra baggy look, but I don't have to hold my pants up with one hand while I walk! Thanks 2-Way Suspenders!
Sue Scott (TEEN): After the advent of low-rise jeans, but before 2-way suspenders, I was self-conscious everytime I sat down. worrying if my underwear was creeping up. But now I don't have to worry. Thanks, 2-Way suspenders!
GK: Keep everything in place. 2-way suspenders, from Saf-T-Flex - Changing the world, by keeping your pants in place, one person at a time.
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A national holiday in Lake Wobegon is always gaudy and joyful. But what is going on between Clint Bunsen and Miss Liberty?
Everyone is here—Pastor Ingqvist, the Sons of Knute, Sister Arvonne of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility and her ocarina band, the Norwegian bachelor farmers, Dorothy and the Chatterbox Café, Wally in the Sidetrack Tap—as crowds converge on the little town to celebrate American independence, even as the chairman of the event broods on the great question of the day: Shall we struggle on valiantly here or shall we burst the bonds and find beautiful life in the golden west?
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Scripts and bits from A Prairie Home Companion celebrate the secret society of men and women who possess excellent spelling and punctuation skills. (You know who you are.)
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