A Prairie Home Companion: February 12, 2005

Pencil script
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Listen

Garrison Keillor: ...you're writing the last paragraph of the novel you've been working on for six years.

(COMPUTER KEYS CLACKING)

Sue Scott: With a faint smile, Jack waved to her and ducked his head and got into the car. The smell of roses hung in the air, the mourning doves were sighing in a distant tree, and both of them knew, though neither fully appreciated the implications of this knowledge, that Jack would never see her again, the woman of his.....

(BEEP-BOOP)

Tom Keith: (ELECTRONIC VOICE) Error. Error. File deleted.

SS: (SHRIEKS) Nooooooo! My novel!

TK: (ELECTRONIC VOICE) All copies of file deleted. Forever. There is nothing you can do.

SS: No— I have to collect myself. Focus. Think. There's a way to do this. F12, Control Shift Ampersand. Escape. (CLICK, CLACK, CLICK) —

TK: (ELECTRONIC VOICE) There is no escape. Self-destruct sequence initiated. Computer will explode in blazing fireball in T-minus ten, nine, eight, seven...

SS: Why? Why?????? Oh, if only I'd used a pencil!

(BUBBLY MUSIC)

GK: The pencil. Your old friend. From kindergarten right up through those standardized tests you took to get into college and the essay tests with the little blue books, the good old yellow No. 2 pencil has been there for you. And the pencil is still there for you. You sharpen them and write with them and if they break, it doesn't mean your entire manuscript is lost. Pencils don't destroy novels, or lives. Pencils will never let you down. Next time you need something to write with— reach for a pencil.