Brain script
Saturday, February 19, 2005


Garrison Keillor: Where does talent come from? When you were a kid, people thought it was something you either had or you didn't have — they referred to it as "God-given talent" — but now we know much more about talent and we're able to implant it through brain surgery.


Tim Russell: (CLINK OF SURGICAL INSTRUMENTS, VENTILATOR) Looking for the talent cortex — the rhythm ganglion — oh, there it is.

Sue Scott: You sure?

TR: Isn't that the right side?

SS: No, I think it's here. That's the libido. You want the talent cortex— here—


SS: What's wrong?

TR: I gotta get part of the whatchamacallit too. And put in the rhythm genes—

SS: But this guy wanted to be a singer-songwriter—

TR: So I shouldn't put in the rhythm—?

SS: Not that much.

TR: Hmmmm. Too late— let me just — (POWER DRILL REVS UP, DRILLING)

SS: Hey. Wait!

TR: (DRILLING STOPS) What's the matter?

SS: Isn't that the nerve that — oh well, never mind. (MUSIC)

GK: The very next night—

Tom Keith (SINGS): Gotta dance! Gotta dance! (TAP DANCING, AND OFF, DOWN STAIRS, AND AWAY)

TR: Sid is a whole different guy since the operation.

SS: He's much happier. He's a pain in the butt to be around but he's happier.

TR: He ought to try out for a show or something. He's got the talent.

SS: First, they have to do something about him scratching his head with his foot.

TR: I noticed that, I didn't want to say anything about it.

GK: Every year, we're learning more and more about the human brain, and someday talent may be available to you. Ask your brain surgeon. A message from O. B.S. The Organization of Brain Surgeons.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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