Catchup script
Saturday, March 26, 2005

Garrison Keillor: ...brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board. (MUSIC)

Sue Scott: These are the good years for me and Jim. My boss retired last week and suddenly life was good again. It was regime change at Hooper Whipple. People were singing in the copy room. The reign of terror was over. Jim's mom is doing fine at the Home. She seems to enjoy dementia more than she enjoyed her previous life. She's always chuckling and waving to people. Our kids are off doing things and not telling us about them, and that's good. But the other morning, at breakfast, Jim was so gloomy— What's wrong, Jim? It's Easter. You're supposed to be sunshiny. Christ is risen.

Tim Russell: I came across some old letters of my mother's.

SS: What?

TR: I never knew I was rejected by St. Philip's Kindergarten.

SS: Whatever makes you worry about that now? You're 48 years old.

TR: I know, but—

SS: We're happy. We have our own house, we have a nice living room suite, you're finally off Zoloft.

TR: I just can't get over it.

SS: It was forty-four years ago, Jim.

TR: But the things that my pre-school teacher said about me¼¼.that I was uncooperative.

SS: Honey, you have to let go of it.

TR: That I didn't help pick up the playthings. That I didn't want to hold hands during the sing-along. Those words burn, they're a stone in my shoe, Barb. Am I still that way?

SS: You're just fine.

TR: And my refusal to hold hands was one thing that kept me out of St. Philip's. The top kindergarten in town. And that kept me out of St. Paul Academy. And so instead of going to Princeton, I went to the Acme Business College at 44 and a half Hennepin Avenue.

SS: And instead of marrying Julia Roberts, you married me. What's wrong with that? She's never home. I am. And she wouldn't like you as much as I do.

TR: You do?

SS: Sure. Especially when we have catchup. Catchup has natural mellowing agents that help a person accept life's little injustices and appreciate what you have. Such as catchup.

RD (SINGS): Spring is a time of hopes and dreams and wishes,
A new day is dawning, so tender and auspicious,
Life is flowing like ketchup on knishes.

GK: Ketchup....for the good times.

Rich Dworsky (SINGS): Ketchup.........ketchup....ketchup.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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