A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Cigarettes, Whiskey and Wild Southern Women Lyrics
Saturday, April 30, 2005
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Cigarettes, whiskey and wild Southern women
They're all waiting for you when the ship comes to port
Cigarettes, whiskey and wild Southern women
Why didn't I stay with my mother up north?

Once I lived in Minnesota, was content as could be
Then I went in the Navy and shipped off to sea
The ship stopped in Norfolk and a lady grabbed me
She taught me smokin' and drinkin' whiskey

With a smoke in one hand and a drink in the other
In the arms of a woman who was lovely and Southern
I abandoned the precepts my mother had taught
In a night of debauchery, riot, and rot.

Two days later, hung-over and pale,
Penniless, sick, I was let out of jail.
I vowed never again on Norfolk to call
And went home to mother back in good old St. Paul.