A Prairie Home Companion: May 21, 2005

Nice script
Saturday, May 21, 2005
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Garrison Keillor: Madison, Wisconsin. It's a town of extremely nice people. Runners (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS, PANTING: On your left. FOOTSTEPS PASS. Thank you! ) You step off a curb and cars come to a stop. (BRAKE SCREECHES TO A HALT — Tom Keith (OFF): After you, sir!) At the coffee shop they always give you an extra shot. (ESPRESSO MACHINE) The biggest Unitarian church in the country is right here in Madison and they are nothing but kind and tolerant — whatever your faith journey may be, they are all for it, just so long as it doesn't involve talking in a loud voice or jumping around with your hands up in the air. It's a city of literate people. The homeless people tend to be former graduate students who realized that if they got their Ph.Ds they'd have to go someplace not as nice as Madison so there they are panhandling on the street (JINGLING CHANGE IN PAPER CUP)— but in a very non-intrusive way—

Tim Russell: When in disgrace with men and feeling low and beat,
I consider how my life has been messed up
And sit here in a doorway on State Street,
Looking into men's eyes, holding a small white cup,
For thy spare change, donated, such wealth brings
That I can purchase breakfast and some other things.

GK: And teenagers in Madison are the nicest teenagers you'll find anywhere.

Sue Scott (TEEN): We've been volunteering and collecting food for food shelves since we were little kids so we could never feel right about spending all that money on our high school Prom when so many people go wthout health insurance.

TK (TEEN): Money for a limo and corsages and the gown and the tux rental— that money could help old geezers who need prostate surgery.

GK: And that's how Proms for Prostates got started here in Madison. Kids who wanted to make a difference.

SS (TEEN): Did you know that the cost of hiring a band plus the food plus the all-night party would pay more than half of the cost of repairing an old man's urinary tract? You'll feel better real soon, Mr. Jangles.

TR (OLD MAN): How can I ever thank you kids?

SS (TEEN): We gave up our dance so you could get the surgery you need.

TR (OLD MAN): Now I'll be able to empty my bladder in less than half an hour.

TK (TEEN): And in the fall we'll have Halloween for Hernias.

GK: Yes, Proms for Prostates. Putting the P back in Prostate.