English Majors script
Saturday, June 4, 2005
Listen

Garrison Keillor: ...here's a word from the Professional Organization of English Majors to this spring's high school graduates. Congratulations. And good luck in your college career. When you're choosing a career for yourself, here's a word of advice. Beware of jobs that might easily be outsourced to other countries — math, for example (TR CHINESE), the math jobs are probably going to wind up elsewhere — engineering (TR GERMAN), that's not our line of work — composing music (TR RUSSIAN), other people do it much better — computer technology (TR INDIAN: Jes, it is my very very great pleasure to help you with your computer), those jobs are all going elsewhere — but when you major in English, you know you're in a field that's going to stay right here in the good old U.S. of A. —

Sue Scott: (CLEARLY, BRIGHTLY) How would you like your hamburger to be cooked today?

GK: Yes, English is something that we Americans are very very good at. And the job of speaking English is ours, no doubt about it.

SS: We have ranch, thousand island, creamy garlic, vinaigrette, French, or blue cheese.

GK: English...you're going to be speaking it for the rest of your life so why not get good at it. Major in English. A message from the Professional Organization of English Majors.