A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Café Boeuf script
Saturday, September 3, 2005

Garrison Keillor: after a word from the Cafe Boeuf, where the elite meet to eat. Maurice the maitre'd, Bonjour—

Tom Keith: If you're not sure, why come?

GK: I said, Bonjour. Bonjour. Good day.

TK: Oh! Good day. Bonjour.

GK: That's what I said. Bonjour.

TK: Mature? You? Yes, I hope so.

GK: Never mind— I am surprised to see you here at the State Fair, Maurice.

TK: I am here with the Cafe Boeuf Booth.

GK: The Cafe Boeuf Booth.

TK: Not easy to say.

GK: So fairgoers are interested in gourmet French food?

TK: We are selling a great many escargot, yes.

GK: People at the fair know they are eating snails?

TK: When they're deep-fried, nobody cares.

GK: Deep-fried snails?

TK: We call them calamari. Also we have creme brulee on a stick. We are selling it by the truckload.

GK: Creme brulee?

TK: We use extra heavy cream. It's like spackle. And we caramelize the sugar by hooking jumper cables up to it.

GK: How much is it?

TK: Five dollars.

GK: Well, give me one.

TK: Get in line.

GK: Where?

TK: Down to the end of the street and turn left.

GK: That's the line for your booth?

TK: It's the new thing and people love it and — (FRENCH SHRUGGING)

GK: So when did you suddenly get so successful?

TK: Right about the time we stopped advertising on your show. — Hey! (HE SHOUTS IN FRENCH. TR SHOUTS BACK IN FRENCH. TK REPLIES WITH FRENCH OBSCENITY)

GK: What's the problem?

TK: He's not putting in enough gelatin.

GK: You put gelatin in creme brulee?

TK: It helps hold the shape.

GK: Gelatin?

TK: Go away— hush. Keep your voice down. Here— have two. (TK OFF, FRENCH)

GK: The Cafe Boeuf Booth, at the Minnesota State Fair — look for it where you see a long line of people — just get in line — that's for the Cafe Boeuf. (TK FRENCH) Thank you for your patience

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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