Dry script
Saturday, January 7, 2006
Listen

Garrison Keillor: We'll be back after this word from Express One Minute Dry Cleaning...

Tim Russell: When you need your clothes cleaned and pressed, you need them NOW, not a day from now, or an hour, but NOW— THIS MINUTE — and at Express One Minute Dry Cleaning we guarantee — you will be in and out in sixty seconds or THERE IS NO CHARGE. That's right. No Charge. How can we do it? It's simple. We're the only cleaners who clean and press your clothes WHILE YOU'RE STILL IN THEM. Simply walk into any Express One Minute Dry Cleaning shop and let our friendly attendants attach the clamps to your ankles (MALE VOICES, CLAMP CLAMP, AND MOTOR REV AND RATCHET) and you're hoisted up and onto the conveyor (MALE VOICES LIFTING, RATCHETING) — you hang upside down, which is very good for your back by the way, as the conveyor takes you through the tetrachloroethylene bath (HARD HARSH SPRAY) — (RAPID SPEECH) may cause dizziness, headache, confusion, nausea, and difficulty in speaking and walking— then it's time for a blast of disinfectant and grease solvent (HARD SPRAY) and then it's time for the steam press (WHOOSH AND BLAST OF STEAM) to take out the wrinkles. Alterations? No problem.(SEWING MACHINE) And you're done. Sixty seconds. Why should your clothes be tied up for days just so they can be laundered? You can wear the same clothes day after day after day. Just run into an Express 1 Minute Dry Cleaning location (WHOOSH, BLAST OF STEAM) and moments later you step out sparkling clean, and ready to take on the world.

Tom Keith: No need for laundering at home anymore. And my back feels better from getting to hang upside down.

GK: That's Express One Minute Dry Cleaning... because who has the time to wait?