A Prairie Home Companion: January 21, 2006

Fear script
Saturday, January 21, 2006
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Garrison Keillor: ...more show coming up after this message from The Fearmonger's Shoppe which reminds you that the winter season is germ season. (SNEEZE) There are billions and trillions of infectious particles out there waiting for you. One more reason to use anti-bacterial gel (SQUIRT) to wash your hands whenever you're out in public (SCRUBBING). No water required. And then there's antibacterial spray — use it whenever someone goes to shake your hand (AEROSOL BLAST). For wiping down eating surfaces and bus seats, it's these antibacterial rubber gloves (RUBBER SQUEAKING). Wipe the germs away. And before you walk into a room that's full of strangers, you want this anti-bacterial grenade. Just pull the pin and toss it in the room. (Tom Keith: Fire in the hole" / BOOM). It releases an antibacterial cloud that kills bacteria in every corner of the room. Don't let a cold or flu ruin your holiday. Don't make us say, 'I told you so." (BIG SNEEZE) (PAUSE. BOOM)