A Prairie Home Companion: January 21, 2006

SFX script
Saturday, January 21, 2006
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Garrison Keillor: It's been warm this week (DRIPPING), temperatures just below freezing, so the snow melts on the roof and drips down and freezes on the driveway forming sheets of ice. (SPINNING TIRES) but we're used to it here. It's been an odd winter. It warms up and (HAWAIIAN NOSE GUITAR) you see people walking around in shorts and (TROPICAL BIRDS) there are flamingos and pelicans and then it snows (BLIZZARD) and the timber wolves move in to the suburbs (HOWL) and the brave children climb to the top of the highest hill with their big red sleds and down the hill they go (LONG SLED RUN, FAST, SFX OF RUNNERS, CRY OF ALARM, SOME BUMPS) past the wolves (SFX) and mastodons (SFX) and hairy mammoths, and across the battlefield (CANNONS) where the Union Army is standing off the Confederate charge and now a band of outlaws is chasing you (HORSE HOOVES, GUNSHOTS) but you're too fast for them and down the hill you go and straight toward the train crossing where the fast express (WHISTLE) is coming in from Chicago and this is going to be close — O no — (WHISTLE, STEAM ENGINE) and just as you're about to crash you go over the ski jump (BIG TK REACTION, FLIGHT) and over the train (WHISTLE PASSING, DOPPLER) and you land on the other side ( LANDING, SPEEDING ONWARD) and then into the woods (TREES FLYING PAST) at top speed through the thickets (BIRDS STARTLED) and all the way to your own backyard and when your mother asks you what you've been doing, you say: (Tom Keith: Not much.) Not much.