A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

The Man Who Puts 'Larson' in Larceny lyrics
Saturday, February 4, 2006
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In a yellow hacienda neath the old palm trees
Me and Mrs. Larson eating chips and cheese
Working on our tans
Rediscovering romance
Feeling youthful, happy, free ----

Then the company I'd worked for since 1963
Suddenly declared bankruptcy
It got my attention when they cancelled my pension.
And that's when I put Larson back in larceny.v
BRIDGE:
Well, we couldn't leave Miami, we were having a good time
And that's when we took up a life of crime.

We're a pair of geezer gangsters, me and Ma.
To keep up our lifestyle we have turned against the law.

We stroll into a bank or liquor store
Put on our ski masks at the door---
And holler, "Face down on the floor, everyone" ----
And we keep one hand on the walker and one hand on the gun.

Liquor stores, banks, whatever might pay
Now and then a Walmart and a Target
Yesterday I stuck up the AARP
I'm the man who put Larson back in larceny

Just cause I'm elderly don't mean I'm sweet.
I'll do what I have to to stay on Easy Street.
I'm riding a wheelchair with a shotgun cross my knee
I'm the man who put Larson back in larceny.