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Tap script
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Listen
Sue Scott (ON PHONE): Hello? Hello—
Garrison Keillor: Yeah?
SS (ON PHONE): You busy? Did I call at a bad time?
GK: No, it's fine. It's only a show.
SS (ON PHONE): On your way home, could you stop at the paint store and pick us up a can of burnt Sienna? I want to get this kitchen wall painted tomorrow.
GK: Isn't burnt Sienna sort of dark?
SS (ON PHONE): We agreed on that. It's not that dark. And the curtains will be light.
GK: I thought maybe blue—
SS (ON PHONE): Blue!!! In the kitchen???
GK: Well, it's just a thought. You want latex, glossy, or enamel?.
SS (ON PHONE): I don't know. Latex maybe.
GK: Or should I bring home some samples?
SS (ON PHONE): No, I want to get started on this.
GK: I thought we decided that we wouldn't go that dark with the color.
SS (ON PHONE): We want the walls darker to pick up the wood grain in the floor...
GK: Well...(SIGHS)
(BEAT)
Tim Russell (BUSH, ON PHONE): Excuse me there.
SS (ON PHONE): Who is that?
(SFX: Click)
TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): Let me tell you folks somethin'.
GK: It's someone else...on our line
TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): I was sitting here and I couldn't help but overhear your conversation.
GK: You sound a lot like...
TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): I get that a lot. Listen, if I could make a suggestion. There is a wonderful color, sort of like burnt Sienna. Goes real well with a wood floor and is very easy on the eye — it's called "burnt orange". It's sort of the color of Fritos. Or beer nuts. But if you'd like to see a sample, check out the website for the University of Texas. Or just look at the jerseys for this year's NCAA football champions. (CHUCKLE)
SS (ON PHONE): Does that paint come with a warrant?
TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): I don't see what that has to do with it.
GK: She means warranty.
TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): Anyway, you do as you like. It's a free country.
GK: Good to know that.
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