Tap script
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Listen

Sue Scott (ON PHONE): Hello? Hello—

Garrison Keillor: Yeah?

SS (ON PHONE): You busy? Did I call at a bad time?

GK: No, it's fine. It's only a show.

SS (ON PHONE): On your way home, could you stop at the paint store and pick us up a can of burnt Sienna? I want to get this kitchen wall painted tomorrow.

GK: Isn't burnt Sienna sort of dark?

SS (ON PHONE): We agreed on that. It's not that dark. And the curtains will be light.

GK: I thought maybe blue—

SS (ON PHONE): Blue!!! In the kitchen???

GK: Well, it's just a thought. You want latex, glossy, or enamel?.

SS (ON PHONE): I don't know. Latex maybe.

GK: Or should I bring home some samples?

SS (ON PHONE): No, I want to get started on this.

GK: I thought we decided that we wouldn't go that dark with the color.

SS (ON PHONE): We want the walls darker to pick up the wood grain in the floor...

GK: Well...(SIGHS)

(BEAT)

Tim Russell (BUSH, ON PHONE): Excuse me there.

SS (ON PHONE): Who is that?

(SFX: Click)

TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): Let me tell you folks somethin'.

GK: It's someone else...on our line

TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): I was sitting here and I couldn't help but overhear your conversation.

GK: You sound a lot like...

TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): I get that a lot. Listen, if I could make a suggestion. There is a wonderful color, sort of like burnt Sienna. Goes real well with a wood floor and is very easy on the eye — it's called "burnt orange". It's sort of the color of Fritos. Or beer nuts. But if you'd like to see a sample, check out the website for the University of Texas. Or just look at the jerseys for this year's NCAA football champions. (CHUCKLE)

SS (ON PHONE): Does that paint come with a warrant?

TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): I don't see what that has to do with it.

GK: She means warranty.

TR (BUSH, ON PHONE): Anyway, you do as you like. It's a free country.

GK: Good to know that.

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