Saturday, February 25, 2006
(PIANO GLISS, AND...)
Garrison Keillor: You? go out for dinner at a very expensive restaurant, where the appetizers start at $8 and the entrees start at $31 and the entrees come (OHS) and yours is six half-ounce medallions of pork on a white plate two-and-a-half feet in diameter with swirls of green foam on it and a spoonful of caramelized rice and the waiter says:
Tom Keith: Fresh pepper anyone?
Sue Scott: Yes, of course. (GRINDER) Fresh pepper. These braised scallops in an effusion of parsnips look delicious.
TK: Fresh pepper, sir?
Tim Russell: Oh, yes, of course. These frog legs stuffed with snails they're exquisite. (GRINDER)
TK: And how about you, sir? Fresh pepper?
GK: Actually, I'd like a bottle of ketchup.
TK: Ketchup??? (MUTTERING IN FRENCH)
GK: Don?t be a slave to fashion. Here's your chance to stand apart from the crowd. Look up and smile and say...Give me some red!
TK: Very well, monsieur. (KETCHUP SPLURTS)
GK: Yes, nothing says rugged individualism and uncompromising integrity like asking for ketchup.
TR (RICH GUY): You know, son, my law firm has been looking for a new general partner...I think we've found one.
SS (TO HERSELF, DREAMILY): And I?'ve been looking for a life partner...
GK: Show 'em what you?re made of. Just say...
TR: Fill it up...with ketchup!
Rich Dworsky: Springtime is coming, folks are feeling sharp
Weddings are coming, get the fiddle and harp
Life is flowing like ketchup on your carp.