Spring script
Saturday, April 8, 2006
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TIPTOE THROUGH THE TULIPS

Tim Russell: It may be April but I expect we may get another snowstorm or two.

Sue Scott: Yeah, wouldn't surprise me.

TR: Sort of looks like it could snow now.

SS: You think so?

TR: Look at that sky.

SS: Yeah, it looks like snow all right.

TR: Anyway I'm heading off to town.

SS: Okay then.

TR: I may be back before dark or I may not, it's hard to tell at this point.

SS: Yeah, if it snows, you could run into problems, that's for sure.

TR: I may just wind up lost in the snow and never come back, I suppose. But what can you do?

SS: You sure you have to go to town?

TR: Well, the car is due for an oil change. Hate to put that off, run into problems on down the line.

SS: I know, but if you waited until tomorrow when the roads are plowed, nothing's going to happen to the car between now and then.

TR: Well, I told em I'd be there, so— I better go.

SS: Okay, then.

TR: If I don't come back, have a good life.

SS: Okay, I will.

TR: If you remarry, don't marry Donny, take it from me, he'd be no good for you.

SS: I'll keep that in mind.

TR: Okay. Bye now.

SS: You don't want to kiss me goodbye?

TR: Naw, I don't want to get you all hot and bothered. I gotta run.

SS: Okay, bye now.

TR: Bye now.

CHAPEL OF LOVE

TR: I see where the Lions Club is having its annual All You Can Eat Pancake Breakfast Sunday morning. Five bucks for pancakes, sausage, and coffee. Not bad, huh?

SS: What they raising money for?

TR: Blankets.

SS: Oh yeah?

TR: Storing warm blankets in different places around town so if a blizzard were to come up sudden, you know, while you're walking along, you could grab a blanket.

SS: It's about time we got something like that.

TR: They're gonna keep em with the defibrillators.

SS: Kind of late for that, though, isn't it? It's April.

TR: It may be April, but look at that sky. Looks like snow to me.

SS: I thought it was supposed to get warmer.

TR: Sky looks like snow to me.

SS: In April?

TR: It's happened before.

A THING CALLED LOVE

SS: So over here is a picture of how the queen bee produces all the eggs for the colony. You may not have known that. So she flies around and these drones have sex with her in mid air and when they're done, they die. Cause their thing stays in her and when they pull out, it just rips them all apart. And that one time is the only time she has sex. She uses the sperm a few at a time to fertilize her eggs. So it's kind of a big deal for her. And of course for the males too. Okay, let's move on to chapter two and talk about birds now—

A THING CALLED LOVE REPRISE

(BLIZZARD, WOLF)

TR: Darn. I walk to the mailbox for the mail and wouldn't you know it, a blizzard comes up and blows a tree limb down on me, and here I am pinned to the ground, and this dang wolf comes around. (WOLF) Dang it. Well, thank goodness I got the cellphone right here. (DIALS SEVEN NUMERALS) (RING AT OTHER END AND PICKUP) Yeah— hi there— it's me. How you doing? (VOICE)— Good. Listen— whenever you get a minute, I wonder if you could you swing over here by my place and pick me up? (VOICE) —I'm on the ground. Under a tree limb. (VOICE) That big red oak in our front yard. (VOICE) Yeah, I've been meaning to trim it, and (VOICE) No, I'm okay. I'm pinned under the limb and a wolf is here sniffing my butt, but I'll be fine. Just whenever you have a minute to come by I'd appreciate it. (BRIDGE)

MOZART: DONA NOBIS PACEM

TR: Easter coming up soon.

SS: Yeah.

TR: We got any plans?

SS: Not that I know of.

TR: Want to go to church?

SS: It's up to you.

TR: Fine by me if that's what you want.

SS: Makes no difference here.

TR: Well, it is Easter after all. He rose from the dead, don't you know.

SS: You think so?

TR: Well, that's what they say.

SS: I got my doubts. But if you want to go, fine. I'll go. Just don't expect me to go parading around the damn church with a bunch of leaves in my hands.

TR: That's Palm Sunday, you're talking about.

SS: Okay, but if we go to church and someone reaches over and grabs my hand and shakes it, I'm outta there. You got that/ I'm out the door.

TR: Okay.

SS: Besides, it looks like snow.

TR: You think so?

SS: Look at that sky.

TR: You may be right. (BRIDGE)

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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