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Catchup script SS: These are the good years for Jim and me. Our lawn is looking better now that the neighbor's dog died and our kids are off living their own lives. Jim Jr. changed his name to Khalil when he shaved his head and went into the commune and he seems to be doing okay. At least he isn't setting garages on fire. Our daughter has covered herself with tattoos and she is dating a guitarist, but she's on her own and we don't interfere. So we should have been happy. And then last week I found Jim sitting in the kitchen with a cold can of beer. ---- Honey, what's wrong? You don't drink beer. You gave that up years ago. TR: I know. I'm just feeling a little wistful. Fishing season starts this weekend and I'm not there. SS: Oh, honey. You weren't happy fishing. You know that! Painting that boat every year, getting it on the trailer, spending the weekend getting drunk with my brother who kept trying to tell you how to fish. You didn't enjoy it. TR: You're right, Barb. And yet --- I miss my tackle box. Opening it up and seeing all those lures in there, all the feathers and hooks. And doggone it, I miss the feeling of a nightcrawler in the palm of my hand. SS: Well, you can hold a nightcrawler if you want. Come out back and we'll sit on the patio and you can hold a worm and I'll read my book. TR: You don't want to go out to dinner ---- it's Mother's Day. SS: Honey, what I want for Mother's Day is what every mother wants. Peace and quiet. Sit and read a book and not have to get dressed up and not have to answer the phone and talk to guilty people. TR: But you used to want the kids to come around for Mother's Day---- SS: And then I started eating more ketchup, Jim. Kethcup contains natural mellowing agents that help a person realize it when you've got things really good. What do you say we fix us a ketchup sandwich? RD (SINGS): These are the good times, we overthrew Saddam. RD (SINGS):Ketchup.....Ketchup..... GK: A message from the Ketchup Advisory Board. © Garrison Keillor 2003 | | | | |
Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
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The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
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