A Prairie Home Companion: May 20, 2006

ELCA script
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Listen

Garrison Keillor:...right after this message from the ELCA, the Evelyn Lundberg Counseling Agency.

Sue Scott: Yeah, this is Evelyn Lundberg —when you say "Counseling Agency" a lot of people sort of visualize a room with a big comfy couch and needlepoint and pillows and a kittycat and a box of Kleenex and some big plump counselor there to give you motherly hugs and tell you you're fine just the way you are. Well, guess again. People, there is a right way and there is a wrong way and if you keep doing it the wrong way you are opening the door to a world of hurt, no ifs ands or buts. Self-esteem issues, my Aunt Sally. Wake up and die right. You walk around acting like a moron, okay, be my guest, but don't expect other people to take your buns out of the oven. Some of you college kids don't even know how to clean a bathroom. You want to know what I think, I'll tell you, but don't expect me to wipe your nose for you. This is Evelyn Lundberg telling you that if you keep on the way you're headed, you're looking for trouble and you know it and I know it so let's not kid ourselves. Straighten up and fly right.

GK: Evelyn Lundberg Counseling Agency...it's counseling the way counseling used to be.