A Prairie Home Companion: June 10, 2006

666 script
Saturday, June 10, 2006
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Garrison Keillor: Tuesday was 6-6-06. (DARK CHORD) The day with the mark of the beast. (DEEP OMINOUS BREATHING) Evil was lurking everywhere. All along Route 66 (VAMPIRE: Good evening. How may I help you?) A day with the same sign as the devil. A lot of omens were about. There was a bad moon on the rise.

Fred Newman: I played eighteen holes of golf and shot a 66. (GOLF SWING AND SHOT)

GK: How old are you?

FN: Sixty six.

GK: Kind of tall to play golf, aren't you?

FN: 6 foot 6.

GK: What'd you do then?

FN: Went to the 7-11 and bought a six-pack. And a deviled egg.

GK: What time was that?

FN: About 6:06. Popped open a cold one (OPEN CAN). Drove down toward Purgatory Creek and stopped at the Phillips 66 station---- which is right next to the Motel 6. (CAR)

GK: What car you drive?

FN: Pontiac Firebird. A '66.

GK: And you were pumping gas----

FN: And the sign that said Diablo Chewing Tobacco 99 cents ---- the wind blew it so it flipped upside down----(WIND)

GK: And made a 66----

FN: Right. And that's when the man in the black cape with the hooves on his feet stepped out and made me the offer. Said if I'd give him my soul, he'd make me the greatest blues guitarist in the world.

GK: Uh huh.

FN: I told him I never cared for guitar that much. And actually I'm more into jazz.

GK: I see.

FN: So he said, Okay, give me your soul and I'll make Texas the NCAA champion. Well, I couldn't see the advantage in that.

GK: Exactly.

FN: So he said, okay, give me your soul, and I'll make you the funniest man who ever was.

GK: Funniest man who ever was.

FN: Right.

GK: You.

FN: Yep.

GK: And when did he say that was going to start?

FN: Well, I turned him down. So he says, what would you like? Well, my wife was standing right there at the time. So I leaned forward and I whispered in his ear, I said---- "I'd like a woman who's twenty years younger." And that's how I became 86 years old.