A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

SFX script
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Listen

Garrison Keillor: We just got back from a cruise to Alaska---- we saw the eruption of Mt. St. Harold's (VOLCANO) and we saw Seal Island with hundreds of performing animals (SEALS) ---- they balance balls on their noses, while they juggle and play the bagpipes (SFX) ----- We saw the lumberjack show in Ketchikan in which lumberjacks cut down a (CHAINSAW) two hundred foot-high virgin pine and it fell on the seesaw and threw a greased pig two hundred feet into the air (PIG) who was caught by Lyle the Dolphin (SFX) who rode on a humpback whale (SFX) who tried to buck the dolphin off (DOLPHIN JIGGLING) We took a helicopter ride to the Mendenhall glacier (CHOPPER) for the giant toboggan slide---- (SLIDE, CRIES OF EXCITEMENT) --- a thousand foot drop to the open sea (SWOOSH) ---- and the flotation devices open (SFX) and everybody throws up and then we go back to the ship. We met a sea lion who sings Led Zeppelin's "A Whole Lotta Love" (SFX) and a walrus who sings Beatles tunes (WALRUS SINGING) plus a dolphin singing the theme from JAWS (SFX) and you're taking pictures with your videocam (SFX) and you back up to get a wider shot and suddenly (FN: WHOAAAAA, FALLING, SPLASH) over the side you go and suddenly you feel a big flipper around your shoulders (SEA LION) ---- it's a sea lioness ----- and she's in love with you (SEA LION) ----- all 800 pounds of her (SEA LION) ------ now there are two flippers around you (SEA LION PASSION) (RHUBARB PIE THEME)

Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? Nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth like Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

(SINGS)

One little thing can revive a guy
And that is a piece of rhubarb pie
Serve it up, nice and hot
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought

(DUET)

Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb
Bebopareebop rhubarb pie
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb
Bebopareebop rhubarb pie
Bebopareebop rhubarb pie