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Catchup script
Saturday, September 2, 2006
Listen
GK: .....after a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.
TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. We made our annual visit to the State Fair and I spent a few hours in the Mining Industry Building and learned a lot about the properties of limestone. And Barb won a free aluminum storm door by guessing the number of ping-pong balls in a chest of drawers. So it was a productive visit. We got a free yardstick and some feed caps and a lot of interesting reading materials to put in the bathroom----- We should have been happy. But the next morning I came downstairs for breakfast one morning and found Barb melting two pounds of butter in the microwave. Barb-what are you doing?
SS: I'm making you toast on a stick, Jim. See?
TR: Barb . Toast doesn't need to be on a stick. It's fine as it is.
SS: Just try it. Here's your toast and now you just dip it in the melted butter.
TR: Barb.
SS: What, Jim?
TR: There's a reason the State Fair only happens once a year.
SS: What do you mean, Jim?
TR: The State Fair is not a way of life. It's a reward for making it through the summer. Sort of like ice cream is a reward for eating your broccoli.
SS: I never serve broccoli, Jim. You eat ice cream every night.
TR: It was a bad analogy, Barb. But the point is still valid. Summer is over, Barb. It's time to go back to using knives and forks.
SS: Oh, Jim. That's so sad.
TR: Eating with your fingers is fine in the summer when food is plentiful. But when things freeze up, you need a knife and fork to defend your food against predators.
SS: You make it sound like we're animals.
TR: We are animals. And ketchup helps to bring out our powerful animal instincts. Because it looks like blood.
SS: Oh Jim.
TR: Civilization is fine in warm weather, Barb, but when it gets cold, life comes down to the basics. Getting food. And mating. (HE HOWLS)
SS: Oh Jim. I haven't seen you like this since---- I don't know when. I'll go get the ketchup right now.
RD (SINGS):
These are the good times
The singing of the birds
The grandeur of nature, of feelings beyond words,
Life is flowing like ketchup on cheese curds.
GK: Ketchup, for the good times
RD: Ketchup, ketchup
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